This is Corey M., a fuckwad that likes beating his meat to animal porn. No, not your traditional bestiality porn, where a woman with significant daddy issues has said “fuck it” to life and decided to have sex with a dog. I’m talking about that furry porn. That Sonic the Hedgehog and Tails donkey-dick debauchery.

I was in middle school in the 7th grade, and Corey was in the 8th grade. In 2001 – 2002, he was in my P.E. class. There was a rumor about someone daring him to suck a guy’s foot, which Corey did. He never denied the story and would laugh about it when someone would ask him. So I’m pretty sure that actually happened. Corey was a weird-ass kid.

There was another incident during lunch one day, some friends and I were playing at the Foosball table. Some other guys were hanging around the area. Corey decided to stand there for no damn reason, knowing damn well he didn’t fit in with us because he was a weird-ass fucking kid. Corey had a bag of Cheetos and was sucking on them and putting them back in the bag. Obviously, that was very weird, but we didn’t say anything because we expected weird shit from him. Corey offered some Cheetos to this guy, and he took one and ate it. Naturally, being in middle school and being assholes, we didn’t say anything until he chewed it. The guy got upset and went to the bathroom to wash his mouth out. He didn’t do shit to Corey; he pretty much let a weird-ass kid cuckold the fuck out of him. He wasn’t my friend, so I didn’t care.

Eventually, one day, Corey doesn’t come to school anymore. We found out he had gotten kicked out of school. He got kicked out for watching porn in the computer lab. I really have no explanation for why he wanted to beat his meat to porn at school, other than puberty acting like a mother fucker within him. Also, because he was weird.

Years later, in the 11th grade, I’m at this vocational school with an AM and PM session. He was in the PM session with me. I recognized him, so I told my friend and these two girls sitting behind us about Corey. At first, they didn’t believe me; his story seemed too weird to be true.

One day I noticed he had a tiny window open in the corner of his monitor. Just seemed very weird to me. He was scrolling up, down, and side to side to look at things in the tiny window. Again, a total bizarre fucking kid. Nothing too surprising until I noticed he was looking at porn one day. It was Sonic the Hedgehog with a hung donkey-dick, cum-blasting Tails. Every time I would turn around, he was looking at furry porn. I told my friend and these girls about it, but they didn’t believe me, mainly because they didn’t have the same view as I did when turning around.

One day I noticed him looking at it again and told my friend and almost everyone in the class to gather behind him and look at his monitor. This idiot was on some cloud-nine type of shit. Mother fucker had found nirvana. Euphoria level maxed out to notice that everyone is now behind him, looking at him watching furry porn. Again, not regular porn, which would still be weird. It was furry porn, which is amongst the lowest level of sadness in the porn hierarchy.

Fast forward a school year later, now in the 12th grade, same vocational class, but this time he’s in the AM session of the course, and I’m in the PM session. One day, he forgot to log off his computer; as I was entering the class, I saw him rush out of the class in a hurry. Corey probably wanted to rub one out in the bathroom before getting on the school bus. He was a beta male, so I’m sure he could rub one out in 20 seconds, tops. Corey was now older and far more mature; he obviously knew jerking it off on the bus was wrong. School bathroom? Sure, why not.

A somewhat butch Mexican girl sat at his seat in the PM session. As soon as she sat down and turned the monitor on to log into her account, she screamed in disgust. Right away, I knew what had happened. Everyone, including the teacher, gathered by her desk. Corey had his wallpaper set to a picture of a cartoon female fox with gigantic breasts wearing a fitting wet shirt where everything was visible. It was bizarre how much detail the artist put into this weird subcategory of porn.

The teacher stormed off into the office to complain about Corey. He later returned with a form and asked if we witnessed the weird fuckery Corey was into. The teacher tried to get Corey kicked out of the school; however, he couldn’t do that. I guess the school was scared he might come in one day and shoot everyone at school after posting his manifesto on 4chan.

A couple of years later, I’m at the DMV to renew my ID card. I’m with my father, and he tells me to check this guy with shit stains on his pants. I see this guy with a massive shit stain on the back of his pants. It wasn’t a tiny stain but a really huge one, and you could tell it was fresh because it wasn’t faded. It was a brown color that looked like it was full of fiber. When he turned around, it was Corey. That was the last time I had seen him.

Not sure what he’s up to now. I do remember coming across his Facebook page. It had a profile picture of a damn wolf on it. I knew it was Corey right away. He did have one picture of himself. He’s married now, and I’m sure he wife’d up a woman that’s just as weird as him and into furry porn.